The whole assault scenario

Alright, thought I'd update this and rewrite since I felt the Pete page was kind of a mess. Now Pete has it's own subpage here as well as the cheating situation. Read them first if you already haven't ant then go on to read the thoughts on Jessicka's description of the alleged rape below.

 

Okay let's talk about the whole rape scenario.

During a short break on tour opening for Nine Inch Nails, Jeordie returned home to what was just Pete's apartment, as I was now staying with friends. I knew at that point that Jeordie had not been faithful on tour, including being with women whom I to this day respect and considered my musical contemporaries. All this led to an argument I never saw coming. He forced me on to the floor with his hand around my neck. I said NO. I said NO. I said it so loud enough, that Pete came rushing in from the other room to get him off of me. But I had been raped. I had been raped by somebody I thought I loved. That night I slept in Pete's bed and cried myself to sleep. Neither of us discussed it until years later as we both had our own shame about not reporting it

Now, this short break on tour opening for Nine Inch Nails, as already talked on the page about the cheating issue, would most likely be during fall 1994 after Jeordie's brief relationship with Courtney Love on the NIN tour. This thing with Courtney has been documented quite well, with Manson bringing it up in interviews to tease Jeordie about it.

Jessicka herself also originally admitted it was Courtney, and that this was a tough thing for her to handle and she was very hurt about this. For fans that have been around longer, this is not news and this was a pretty well known case. But Jessicka's wording in this 2017 statement does raise the question; were they dating anymore at this point even as she states she did not live in the apartment anymore?

She has earlier on her website described their relationship as tumultuous, could it be that they had that sort of an on-off relationship that Jeordie was under the impression that they weren't a thing anymore? Or had they already broken up, but Jeordie moving on to someone else that fast made Jessicka feel hurt? Interestingly from her 2017 statement the reader gets the impression that they broke up after this ”break from NIN tour scenario” in 1994, while earlier interviews from Jessicka give the impression that they dated until 1997. Jessicka also states a paragraph earlier, right after talking about things that took place in late 1993- early 1994 that she already wanted to leave him at that point. Wouldn't Jeordie going on a tour be a good chance to pack up your stuff and tell him to get lost?

 

Whatever the case, ”Jeordie returned home to what was now just Pete's apartment, as I was now staying with friends” is a very interesting detail. Who lived at the apartment? If it was just Pete's apartment, did Jeordie live there either? Home, then again implies he did. But was he just crashing there or actually living there? Why was Jessicka there?

It gets even more interesting.

So... Jessicka didn't live at the apartment and didn't know that Pete was home? How did she get in? She could not have been inside the apartment as Jeordie came home, because if she no longer lived there, why would she have a key?

So, are we to understand that Jeordie came home on a break on tour, Jessicka had heard about the thing with Courtney and was waiting in the apartment building hallway for Jeordie, ready to yell at him? Isn't that a bit creepy? Or did she come in for a visit when Jeordie was already there?

Then, Jessicka's statement describes Jeordie to always be the instigator in all conflicts, but if this kind of an argument about cheating were to happen, who would be the most likely to start the fight; the one who had cheated or the one who had been cheated on? Why was this even cheating or an issue to argue about if Jessicka had already wanted to leave him earlier, wouldn't it be a good thing that Jeordie was with someone else and not her problem anymore?

Another thing is, Jeordie coming home from tour on a short break. Wouldn't Pete, as his roommate and friend be greeting him, asking him about how the tour had been so far? Keep in mind, this was his first real tour experience with a new band. So it's quite unlikely that Jeordie would be unaware of Pete being home. Jessicka, if she came in later, could be unaware of Pete being there if he was for example in a room with a door shut, but it's unlikely that Jeordie wouldn't know he was there. So why would Jeordie even think to attempt raping someone while knowing the "protective roommate" is home? 

 

And coming home from tour he'd most likely be really tired and more interested in getting something to eat and falling asleep. Depending on the time of day this was. But if he's really tired and just wants to be alone, it would be understandable to get angry, but kind of hard to imagine it escalating from there to what is claimed by Jessicka.

A very usual assumption is also that he was drunk. Which, while possible, isn't exactly entirely the ”omg he totally did it” detail that people think it is. It depends on how drunk we're talking about, and anyway; if you were to have a short break from months of touring, would you want to spend most of it bedridden with hangover and feeling like shit?

Also, well, whiskey dick is a thing. If you're like really drunk/high, "he probably did it but was just too fucked up to remember" as some Jessicka supporters in online discussions have expressed it, would you be able to get it up well enough to be able to forcibly penetrate someone. Think about that. Also drugs like cocaine can have a similar effect because it affects blood circulation so on the part of drugs it isn't that simple either! Point is drugs and alcohol aren't only a "people can go crazy" argument, they also have physical effects on the body and the blood circulation that also affect sex. "He used drugs so he did it" is not really a very good point. Sure, substance abuse can make someone change a lot, but that as an existing point isn't necessarily a confirmation of anything specific happening. 

 

And if that's not an issue, well: Alcohol/drugs also affects coordination abilities in a way that if you take into consideration also the fact that he was quite skinny, hence the name Twiggy, would he be able to actually even overpower her as easily as described? then there's struggles like clothes.  It was never stated he was under the influence anyway, but for those that made this assumption, here I addressed it.

Tbh now watching the "Twiggy's on drugs XD" videos on youtube as an adult, after having actually hung out with people who are on drugs and after having tried some drugs myself... This is just my opinion but at least Phil Donahue and Headbangers Ball, the most known "crazy Twiggy XDDDD" videos from around this time, I don't think he was on drugs, it's an act. You don't need drugs to do that. Like maybe, could be something going on but it's also really easy to just act weird. Those videos aren't an actual representation about who he is as a person outside Marilyn Manson though, it's really funny that people think that's his entire personality and then turn around to tell me "You can't know what he's really like though!!!!! Stupid fan!!!" lol. Not saying that he didn't do drugs at all, very obviously he did that very openly but just pointing out that it still doesn't mean he was a l w a y s under the influence.

Wouldn't the struggle of wrestling Jessicka to the floor already by itself cause enough of a commotion to alert Pete to cause him to come and see what's going on? And why was he in the other room still at this point if he was the protective older brother friend who always protected Jessicka and allegedly knew that Jeordie was so abusive? See, Jessicka states she had already moved out, Pete must have known from this already that they were going through some problems and he likely heard her come in and heard the argument start. And if this was late, wouldn't Pete be also kind of like "Uhh do you wanna get me noise complaints or what?"

And about that commotion. From here we get into the number one reason I never believed these allegations from the start. Because the story changes here. When this whole issue hit the headlines in October 2017 with the current statement, it was already old news. But something had changed. I did not mention this detail on the site before as I didn't know if I should because I have no screenshots of this so you're going to have to consider this a rumor, but someone emailed me about this earlier version, stating they remember this, so if you do remember this too and have screenshots of this, please contact me.

I remember very vividly that my original reaction to the story was confusion, as it was stated that Jeordie pushed her to the floor and Pete came rushing intp the room, pulling him off of her, and ”That was the only thing that saved me.” So Pete was there Before the rape even happened, pulling him off BEFORE that. And I just remember reading people's disgusted and horrified comments, calling Jeordie a rapist and all while I was thinking; ”Guys, shouldn't we be talking about attempted rape. Shouldn't we be talking about that? It was never stated that he actually did it, it was stated that Pete saved her before it happened. How do we know if rape was his intention?” And no, I don't mean to say that ”He only attempted so it's okay” it would not be okay, but if the story changes this much, how do we know if any of this happened?

If it did, where did Jeordie go after? Doubt the ”attack” would have just ended there as Pete came in. Did he just leave? But if he lived there, where did they put him for the rest of the night, would Jessicka even want to stay there? Did Jeordie stay in the apartrment or leave? Did Pete carry on being roommates with him?

And still another question is: If Jeordie allegedly cheated on Jessicka or had already broken up with her, who knows what, why does this sound so inverted somehow? It just would make so much more sense if He'd been the one that was cheated on and he was angry about that and attacked Jessicka in retaliation. But it was not that way.

You know what, I'm just going to say it. Up until the having an argument about Jeordie being with Courtney this sounds like a thing that could have happened, but the whole rape scene just sounds like a piece that doesn't fit, something that has been added later. Why? Because all of the things I just listed and also it's just too convenient to have this alleged rape happen on this particular occasion. Because people that have been around a long time, followed both of their careers know this whole Courtney issue. We know that Jessicka was hurt about it and it was probably a lot to handle. But it's like an amateur fanfiction prompt move really, that all of the possible scenarios it's this one that we all already know about. Anyone could make this up, like ”Okay I'll write about Jessicka and Jeordie fighting... What could they fight about... Oh yea that Courtney thing probably.”

 

But it's also so convenient to choose this because she can accuse Jeordie of both cheating and rape to make him look so much worse and the fact that this "cheating on tour" has kind of been discussed already, it creates this feeling of trust in the reader, like "oh I know that happened, so the rest is probably true too".

It's so... You know when an amateur writer really wants a specific scenario to happen in the story but they don't know how to write the things leading up to it, why it happens and what happens after, so it just kinda... Happens. People react irrationally or can walk through locked doors because the story needs that to happen as the writer isn't skilled enough to lead it where it should go in it's own time, and the story in itself ends up existing only for the sake of those few specific scenes that the writer just really wanted to write.

And I know I shouldn't be rating this like a piece of literature, but as a person who does some of creative writing (original texts lmao) I can notice certain issues. And with literature and real life, there is a rule that you can't really add things into the past without changing the whole story around it to fit. It's all a puzzle.

Had this been this way, we would not have the picture of Pete ”one of Jeordie's best friends” hanging out with Jeordie in 2005. We would not. Because just the existence of that picture shows whatever happened there that night didn't shock Pete to cut all ties to Jeordie. And had it, he'd try harder to hold him accountable instead of avoiding the entire subject and refusing to take part in the conversation.

With this puzzle analogy, also it's very interesting that after describing the alleged rape, Jessicka goes on to say she "saw Jeordie throughout the 90's, even toured with Marilyn Manson in 1999." Something very interesting is suspiciously left out. 

Jessicka's band Jack Off Jill joined Marilyn Manson on the Portrait Of An American Family tour in December 1994 on the Florida dates. This is a tour that she has commented on positively in the past, Jack Off Jill's first tour, yet somehow it is left unmentioned. This tour is particularly memorable due to the shocking stage antics of Jack Off Jill, (see Allegations against Jessicka page) such as stripping young guys naked in front of the crowd. Jessicka was arrested on this tour in Jacksonville and spent the night in jail and this was something she proudly shared in interviews in the 90's. Why is this left out?

Is it because she doesn't want people to remember that she in fact toured with Jeordie's band right after this alleged rape and included this particular tour in pretty much all of her interviews and website bios etc back in the day?  The sexualised stage antics too are an interesting detail, would someone who's very recently been sexually assaulted want to perform such activities? 

Jessicka also claims that basically everyone was aware of this alleged abusive relationship, but didn't do anything because he was in Marilyn Manson. She stayed friends with Marilyn Manson, as in Jeordie's best friend for years even though she claims that the fact Jeordie played in Manson's band was the reason she didn't get justice. Then as she came out with her claims, she tried to hide her friendship with Marilyn Manson and claim she hasn't been friends with him or supported him. I mean of course, the piece doesn't fit, she tried to change the story around it but it's all still online for everyone to see how she bragged about attending Manson's wedding and being friends with him, even though her abuse narrative should have made her hate Manson from the start because it being true would mean Manson chose Jeordie's career and his own friendship with Jeordie over Jessicka's safety.

And you know what else comes to mind? 

Jessicka has stated she has been inspired by the film director Todd Solondz's work, she is a fan of his. There is a movie of his called "Happiness" that details a rape scene very similar. 

A man called Allen goes on a date with a woman called Kristina. Kristina confesses to murdering an apartment building doorman after the doorman had raped her and describes the rape to Allen:

Kristina comes home with a lot of groceries and the apartment doorman Pedro offers to help her with them and  carries them with her to the apartment. After Kristina thanks him, Pedro doesn't leave, he kind of just lingers there awkwardly and then asks for a scoop of ice cream as a thanks for his favor. As Kristina is giving him the ice cream, Pedro grabs her by the front of her shirt/neck and she screams.

It cuts to a scene back on the date, Kristina says, "The next thing I knew he was inside me."

And then it cuts back to the apartment scene, Kristina is laying on the floor with Pedro on top of her. 

The struggle isn't shown, it appears like Pedro just overpowered her in a matter of seconds and managed to force her on the floor and rape her really easily. Only, the size difference of the characters makes the watcher question whether or not this was even possible, because Pedro was very skinny and small, Kristina was taller than him and also an overweight woman. How on earth did Pedro overpower her and force her to the floor in a flash like that?

 

But as it is detailed in the film, the two arrive at an apartment, have a conversation and suddenly the man grabs the woman around the neck and it cuts straight to them on the floor. Their conversation gives no hints to this being about to happen at all, they only really say "Thank you" "Could I have a scoop of your icecream?" and then Pedro grabs her. 

In the film, it is an event that could make sense because Pedro and Kristina don't know each other and Kristina lives alone. Did Pedro help Kristina with the intention of getting inside her apartment, was he planning to rape her all along? But also, Kristina is introduced as she tells Allen that Pedro has been murdered, she has murdered Pedro and dismembered him, which hints to the possibility that maybe she in fact planned to murder Pedro all along, as someone who kills in self defense for the first time would most likely be too shocked and traumatized to even think of dismembering a body. Then again a revenge killing is supported by the fact that Kristina kept Pedro's genitals in her freezer but got rid of the rest of him.

The size difference of them also raises questions; Kristina was bigger than Pedro and could have easily overpowered him, if she was able to murder him, then how did Pedro even have a chance at raping her? Is the scene simply something she said to justify her murdering him? Or did she kill him as he was attempting to struggle her to the floor but tell the story as if he had succeeded to further justify her actions?

Also, Allen goes on the date with Kristina after his earlier try at a relationship doesn't turn out good. He is a man who makes sexually harassing phonecalls, and before his date with Kristina he goes on a date with a successful writer called Helen. They meet as Helen despairs over her own writing that's themed around rape, yelling "If only I'd actually been raped, then I would know authenticity!" that's when Allen calls her, sexually harassing her on the phone, and as Allen ends the call, Helen calls him back. Just pointing this out that Helen's words will probably come to mind if you're someone who's planning to falsely accuse and who has seen this movie. 

But comparing to Jessicka's story... 

Jessicka and Jeordie knew each other. Jeordie most likely knew that Pete was home. Even the argument that allegedly lead to the rape raises questions, how did that escalate to that? And how Jeordie is portrayed raping Jessicka is just like Pedro to Kristina; it's as if he was there with the intention to start with and the argument was simply a needed motive to attack. But Jeordie was coming home to his apartment on a break from tour, he could not have been planning on that, he most likely knew that Pete was home and also, he probably wasn't aware that Jessicka was going to even be there as Jessicka didn't live there anymore and claims she didn't know Pete was home. She must have come into the apartment when Jeordie was already home.

And the assault then just happens really fast in seconds, just like in the movie, even though this is quite impossible as Jeordie at the time was very skinny, it's unlikely he would have been able to just press her to the floor like some kind of a doll. (Conveniently I'm dating someone of the same proportions, a friend of mine said "lol you're dating a thrash metal Jeordie" and I can just lift him and carry him around if I want to. I'm 5'3... So uhh...) Pete would have heard the struggle and screaming and come in, but Pete's purpose in Jessicka's narrative isn't to save her, he is in the story just so there is a witness, therefore there can't be a struggle, otherwise he'd come into the room too early.

So as I already stated, the description of the rape looks like a piece that doesn't fit the story, that has been added later to an event that is a bit too convenient, and then it reminds the reader of this scene from a movie, from a director that Jessicka is a fan of. 

It just looks like this: Fight about Courtney + Scene from "Happiness" + Roommate who doesn't want to be in the media. People remember the Courtney thing, most people haven't seen "Happiness", most people only need the fact that there was a roommate backed up and a name to believe this anyway. Those who don't believe the story can be labeled rape apologists anyway, they are just going to be "stupid starstruck fans". Convenient isn't it?

Not buying it. At all. And as said on a different page already, someone who has nightmares about an abusive relationship would most likely not be comfortable watching Todd Solondz films enough to call them a favorite or an inspiration, there is a lot of taking advantage, rape, abuse, going on. Especially "Happiness".

So alright, a lot of inconsistencies and suspicious things, a lot of questions unanswered. For those that say "Well you can't prove it didn't happen" I'd like to remind that I never claimed I could, my point is to show you that this case isn't strong enough to unquestionably prove Jeordie did any of these things and there are valid reasons why his fans don't believe the allegations. It is the accuser's responsibility to provide proof for their claims, and if they can't, it's innocent until proven guilty.  My take on this is that this story is not credible in any way and I would not trust it enough to justify smearing someone's reputation, having someone lose friends over this, lose their job, harm their career, have people say horrible things and harass him and his family, or possibly make him a target for violence and harassment. This story is not credible. And you can throw a tantrum about it and tell me to kill myself but it won't make this look any better.

But this is a fan talking, do make your own conclusions absolutely.