Abortion?

Well since it was mentioned already, let's go through that claim Jessicka made about having to have an abortion during her relationship with Jeordie. There are a lot of things to point out about that. Here we go:

First of all, what is weird in this whole thing is that this whole abortion thing has never been mentioned before. I have read all the Jessicka interviews I could possibly find, I haven't really seen Jack Off Jill lyrics discussiong abortion rights much either? Wouldn't this have been a more central theme in her message through the years? Like for comparison, Jessicka has been outspoken about fatphobia through the years and her website through the 2010's showed that issues that she felt strongly about were gay marriage and fat acceptance. 

Like why is this something that only comes up now? Not even without the mention of Jeordie... To discuss this, she wouldn't have to mention it ever happening to her at all, she could just write a song about the subject or comment on it generally. It's weird that she can sing about really painful subjects like rape and child abuse but this has never really come up. 

Then there's the procedure itself. Now, as this allegedly happened before I was even born, in a country I have never visited, I can't say anything about this at all. But abortion was legal in Florida at the time, it's unlikely it would have been done at some back alley clinic like that. And "at least I could not afford it" is an interesting thing too because then she says that her mother paid for it after all, so...

Then, if Jeordie was the one who got her pregnant; Why was it not mentioned in the statement in 2017?  Abortion is a pretty big deal! And if this happened to her at the age of 18, it is exactly in the timeframe of the stories in her allegations. And this botched abortion would be a permanent damage  that was left of this relationship. And then in comments along with her first story that she published in summer 2017 before deleting it and posting a new one in October, she claimed that she had repressed these memories of the abuse and they were triggered and came back to her because of physical therapy for an elbow injury.

 

Why this physical therapy? Wouldn't having these supposed seven miscarriages have triggered it far more likely?

And if, as she claims, she had been saying "MY BODY MY CHOICE" loud and proud at 18, why has this never come up before, there's only been talk about that dress issue. It's very interesting, I'd imagine for example mother's day posts on social media could make her feel sad that she couldn't be a mother? Of course - she might want to concentrate on positive things more than painful and just post appreciative things about her own mother. But considering her social media presence that revolves very much around trauma, suffering and mental illness, feminist issues and bringing up Jeordie, I find it a little strange that I have never seen her mention this on social media, for example on a mother's day related post.

It just looks like the only reason Jeordie is in this story is for shock value, because the quality of the procedures, the laws on abortion and the accessibility of such treatments is not an issue that is anything that Jeordie could control in any way? And maybe she realized that too, because then suddenly she has to bring up Jeordie being fired and add this "my rapist wanted to fuck" thing, like she realized he had no control over the situation, the condom breaking is not his fault either, she just wanted to create this mental image of how he just doesn't care about her safety. 

"I had not had sex many times" is also interesting, she's building this image of herself as this inexperienced and innocent girl who didn't know any better, but if you have followed her career, this sounds a bit...

Seconds, 1998:

Seconds: I'd like to ask some questions about sex -
Jessicka: You can ask me.

Seconds: How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Jessicka: I was fifteen. It was in a van.

Seconds: Oh, that's tawdry!
Jessicka: In a van behind a synagogue.

Seconds: Were you drunk?
Jessicka: I had a drink but I don't think I was drunk. Actually, we were drinking Manischewitz.

Then there's the song Cum Dumpster that was included already in 1995 on a cassette, Cannibal Songbook

Really wondering would someone who's barely had any sex ever write a song like that. Or in general, just the whole JOJ stage thing and everything, what, bringing guys on stage and making them pull their pants down, Jessicka has been described to put jellybeans in her panties and throw in them into the audience etc... Someone who does stuff like this in front of a lot of people is probably comfortable and confident with sexuality in general and not all new to it and innocent like she now wants to claim.

You also may remember the whole discussion about her being called a groupie in LHROOH and sleeping with at least Sara Lee Lucas from Marilyn Manson around these times. And I have received messages of people claiming they're friends with someone from the scene at the time and have heard that Jeordie definitely was not Jessicka's first boyfriend and she was sleeping around a lot. This I cannot confirm, so take it as it is, but I hear this thing from multiple people who claim to have been there or to know someone who was there at the time. If she did, nothing wrong with that, hey, sex drugs and rock n roll, but if you change your own narrative it looks sketchy. 

She has also earlier expressed that she doesn't want kids? and now she's like trying apparently very hard as she's had seven miscarriages. Well, why has she never talked about that issue before either, in her feminist activism, I have never seen her discuss infertility issues before or after this post? Do correct me if I'm wrong. And, seven miscarriages? How much things have been twisted around and made worse than they actually are, no, not buying this. 

Interviews from the 90's in this case are totally irrelevant though because the opinion on whether or not someone wants kids can definitely change through the years. 

Like sorry I'm not sorry, this looks made up. She just conventionally happens to have a new Jeordie story every time. 

And you know what's really interesting?

One of Jessicka's favorite movies that she lists as an inspiration is Palindromes. (watch trailer on youtube here) This movie describes the story of a girl called Aviva who wishes to have a lot of children. She becomes pregnant as a teenager and has to have an abortion, which ends up botched so they perform a hysterectomy on her and fail to tell her about it. Throughout the movie, Aviva is portrayed by different actors, there's a different person playing the character for different "chapters" and two of these actors closely resemble Jessicka. The movie includes multiple sex scenes, and in all of them, Aviva is just laying there, staring at the ceiling like she is just an object when an older male has sex with her. Aviva also wears a very Jessicka style pink dress. She talks with a small voice like a child, it's very uncomfortable to watch.

 

This all is very close to how Jessicka portrays herself in her claims of an abusive relationship. She doesn't know any better, she's dragged along and people are telling her what to do and taking advantage of her. Very different to the loud, opinionated feminist frontwoman she was in the 90's. 

So, if we put this to a timeline;

In the 90's, Jessicka said she wouldn't want to have children. This opinion can change with time, a lot of people change their minds over the years. but it's a detail nonetheless. 

Jessicka interviewed for Issue 5 of the Official Jack Off Jill newsletter, February 1998:

--Do you want marriage and children someday?

  "No."

--Really?!  But I know you love kids!

  "There are certain aspects to the way I was raised...I don't think I would do well with my **own** children.  With my family tree -- I kind of want to 'nip it in the bud' here and now.  And besides, I am too much of a child myself still to be able to do a good job with a child!  But again - who knows
what the future will bring?!"

During the career of Jack Off Jill, women's reproductive rights are not a subject of song lyrics and even later on, it does not seem to be an issue Jessicka feels strongly about, as for example mentioned above, she talks about body positivity and gay marriage on her website. I mean, she does talk about abortion rights, has talked about it, but it's been more so in context of the right to having an abortion, not the aftermath of a botched one. One could expect difficulties in becoming pregnant to also have been an issue she's talked about, had this been such a personal issue? She may have been pro choice, she probably has always been, but at least I have never seen her bring this issue up before this instagram post as something that she feels strongly about or has experience in personally. This is not even included in the 2017 statement, even though it fits into the timeline of events.

But in her instagram post about having an abortion, she mentions seeing someone else's post about having an abortion and it "allowing her to examine her own experiences."

Now, you know I don't believe her, I have a whole website about it. But if she wanted to have a story too and use it to further harm Jeordie's reputation, she would have to make up more and to add to her earlier claims,

If something hasn't happened to you, where do you find reference to what it's like? Probably movies and TV and documentaries. It's very interesting that her abortion story, while being inconsistent with her earlier statements and the general narrative, also is VERY similar to one of her favorite movies, basic inspirations, Palindromes. If you do not believe me, you can watch it and email me what do you think. 

Palindromes is mentioned twice on Jessicka's website if you go see it with Wayback Machine, these snaps are from 2014 from the updated FAQ:

Jessicka Palindromes
Jessicka Palindromes

Then here's some pictures of Aviva. These are just the actors that look like Jessicka, there were many others too, different skin color and hair color, body type etc...

So, I don't know, earlier she said she didn't want kids, she's never talked about having kids or expressed that she feels strongly about problems with having kids, even though her whole career is based on women's issues? 

In Palindromes, Aviva wants "a lot of kids so that she would always have someone to love", the movie is basically about a traumatized girl going to bad relationships and being taken advantage of so that she would get pregnant. But she won't get pregnant because her abortion was botched.

Suddenly Jessicka has an abortion story where she's had a botched abortion as a teenager and ended up unable to have kids and she's been trying to have kids but had seven miscarriages. This doesn't even come up in her original statement but only conveniently as she sees other people having hard experiences on social media. And as prior to this she had said she doesn't want kids because her own childhood was abusive and she doesn't believe she'd be able to raise a kid, later on, after her claims about Jeordie, the story changes that she's always wanted kids but can't have them because of Jeordie.

Jessicka did not come across as someone very inexperienced in her statements at the time in the 90's or in general in her attitude towards sexual things. She's provocative, she's shocking with it.

In Palindromes, Aviva, a very insecure girl just goes to a boy's house, a family friend or something, is completely inexperienced with sex and just let's the boy fuck her and get her pregnant after he's shown her a bunch of porn. Aviva gets taken advantage of in this movie in general because she is so insecure and inexperienced and throughout the movie she acts like a child who doesn't understand what sex even is or how relationships work.

Suddenly in Jessicka's story she's "not have sex many times" and in general her whole accusations are very much "I did not know any better, I was not experienced." 

Could be wrong but my guess is that she wanted to have a story like the others too and this movie inspired it. I would not mention the similarity to this movie if I didn't know she'd seen it and thought it's an inspiration and a favorite. If she hadn't, then it would be just a movie and a coincidence, but the fact that she has seen it, likely many times...

And then, well, there's the whole question of, would someone so traumatized even want to watch a movie like this, let alone call it a favorite and an inspiration. Todd Solondz movies in general portray a lot of rape and abuse.

 

 Of course, people deal with trauma in different ways and maybe seeing a movie about it can also help deal with it, there's no "right way" to go about it. But if tweeting about Jeordie is "retraumatizing" when others do it but not when she does it herself, then how is it not retraumatizing to watch Todd Solondz movies that discuss rape and abuse all the time. I've watched them all and while I liked them as a piece of art and I think they're good movies, they made me very uncomfortable.

And okay, maybe Jessicka just didn't want to write songs about this issue or discuss it, that is a valid point, but if you're one of those people who believe Jack Off Jill's rape themed songs are about Jeordie, then I'm going to have to ask how abortion would be too much to handle if she was okay with singing about rape?

Because, consistency. Consistency overall is what her claims and the defenses too are lacking and that is probably the main reason this isn't believed.

Similarities to other events in Jessicka's claims that I also noticed in the movie Palindromes: A scene where the Aviva portrayed by an actor who looks like Jessicka is in a car with an older man who drives erratically, she's screaming at him to slow down. Then, close to the end, Aviva sits in the car with the guy who got her pregnant in the beginning, but the guy's appearance has changed and he has changed his name and they discuss this. Remember the whole driving scene in Jessicka's statement? They drive and fight in the car and then it turns to this point about how Jeordie wanted to become someone else?

Whatever. Watch the movie and make your own conclusions, I'm not claiming she took it from there, there are differences too, but it's possible and an interesting detail that I thought I'd point out. And if this movie was an inspiration to her stories, it may have been subconscious, there is really no way to prove it anyway. Made up stories do come from somewhere, though.

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2022 addition: Obviously whether I believe in this abortion story or not is not a statement on my opinion on the whole should abortion be legal, is it morally acceptable, issue that has currently in the USA been a huge topic of discussion. That is a very complicated topic and an issue for another time. Obviously, if anyone is in a position where an abortion is needed, it should be dealt with safely and without judgment towards the woman in question. Everyone's situation and background is different and this page's point is not to judge on those who've gone through with this or to imply that there's anything shameful in that. I'm discussing this case. No one deserves a botched operation, whatever it is and necessary healthcare should be accessible to everyone. I do not disagree with Jessicka being pro choice. 

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Anything said on social media or this site is a fan's ramblings, I don't know Jeordie personally. THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL WEBSITE AND HAS NOT BEEN MADE IN ANY CONTACT TO JEORDIE/TWIGGY.