Nightmares?

In her statement in 2017, Jessicka claimed to have avoided Jeordie through the years, that the tour with Marilyn Manson in 1999 was something she didn't want to do because she didn't want to see Jeordie, and that she'd had nightmares about running into him through mutual friends and in the same events.

It doesn't really look like that's the case.

First of all, she also claimed that she hasn't supported Marilyn Manson since 2001, but that can be very easily proven false as we discussed on the Manson page. So why would this claim be any different?

Just as she posted her statement on Facebook, Jeordie's cousin commented this:

Do not try to contact anyone in Jeordie's family by the way, or Jessicka's similarly. Leave them out of this. If they want to comment, that'll be on their own terms.

--So how do we know this was Jeordie's cousin? -Because Jessicka responded.

So, she says Louise is Jeordie's cousin and that she's talked with her. Of course Louise was angry, is that something that would somehow disprove something? And she says she has no dirt on Marilyn Manson, but we know that isn't true, , also no, Manson did not go "fuck Jeordie" and just fire him based on Jessicka's word, that too is a lie. So it's pretty hard to believe that Jessicka speaking on Messenger somehow changed Louise's mind or whatever? No I don't believe so.

This is not the only thing, definitely not. Because as much as she's trying to claim so here, she had no problem associating with Jeordie in the years prior to this.

Of course, her social media posts with throwbacks to pictures with Jeordie have been deleted since, but people take screenshots.

Now, there's that one photo on middle right, that shows Jeordie next to someone. It was also included on the first JOJ website back in the late 90's until JOJ's disbanding. Here's how it was listed there; now do note that this was around the time when she'd allegedly been "silenced" trying to come forward with her story, and she'd been "pressured to tour with Manson" - a story which Jeordie's cousin commented on in the facebook comment mentioned above. But alright:

"A certain bass player wearing his JOJ shirt" - this is basically "look, Jeordie is a fan of ours" Had Jessicka actually been avoiding him, scared and traumatized by him and writing songs about him, etc, had all this alleged abuse been generally known "but no one wanted to stand up for me", one could imagine that maybe at least her band's website would not include him as a "look, he's into our stuff!"

Like the issue with these photos isn't always necessarily that they exist, but the fact that there's all these completely unnecessary mentions of Jeordie by Jessicka throughout, the years, it's hard to imagine that someone that didn't want to think about him at all would unnecessarily bring him up? And this photo is, guessing from the hair, taken in 1995, which would be, in the timeline, after everything Jessicka's described.

And who's the woman in the picture? According to the throwback photo Jessicka posted, she has a physical copy of this photo, so it's likely someone close to her. Someone who was okay with their face being posted on Jack Off Jill's website? Is that Jessicka's mother? I can't say it is, I can't say it isn't. No one is sure, but there is a similarity, this woman could be her mother or her aunt. Not sure at all. Do you know who this is? It isn't just a random person though, considering the details, it's very possible that this is a family member at least. There are similarities in how this person looks to how Jessicka's mother looks. - She has posted photos of her, but I am not going to include them on this page as they were in a very emotional post about Jessicka's mother having cancer, and I don't want to bring that struggle in here at all, that is a very sensitive topic.

Jessicka's website from the 2000's is also very interesting. There, Jessicka's claimed contribution to his looks is in her bio like it's an achievement and also there's a gallery folder called GUY FRIENDS, that shows some familiar faces! Why on earth would she want to post pictures of Jeordie on her website a decade later if she was having nightmares of running into him?

Later her husband or her posing as her husband (see the reason for the doubt on the I'm not Jessicka page) was tweeting at me and tried to explain this GUY FRIENDS gallery thing with the fact that this website was not personally run by Jessicka. Well, fair enough, that is true, the site was not run by Jessicka, but a fan using the nickname Polly. It was, however, done in collaboration with Jessicka, on behalf of Jessicka. In such a case, Jessicka, had she been uncomfortable with mentions of Jeordie on the site, especially him being listed as a friend, she could have had the power to simply ask the fan to remove the photo.

In this kind of a situation, the website admin is "employed" by the celebrity and the site should work in the celebrity's terms, as whatever is posted on the official site of a celebrity affects their reputation. In the early 2000's there was no social media, sites like this were public figures' "face". And had Jessicka been terrified of Jeordie and just trying to forget him, one might imagine that the emphasis of the site would be on the things Jessicka had achieved without any association to Jeordie at all. You could argue "well maybe she just didn't want to tell the fan, it's hard to trust people especially fans sometimes!" And once again, that is a fair point, but she wouldn't have had to say anything other than for example; "I don't want my ex boyfriend mentioned on my site, I don't like how my work was always compared to Marilyn Manson, I want the emphasis the be on what I can do and what I'm all about without that association, especially now that JOJ has disbanded and I've started a new direction with Scarling."

There are also some very interesting tweets........

If you have any that aren't included here, or remember something, please contact me!

Why would she want to hang out with Jeordie's brothers? This too, was discussed with "Christian", who stated that he'd taken this photo and Wesley and Dustin had "surprised her" at the bar, making her extremely uncomfortable. Christian also noted that Jessicka is not smiling. She is, if you look closely...

Well. Okay. But why would a photo then be taken in the first place? Why would Christian even take the photo? And had it been a "group photo!" situation that happened suddenly, still, to save that photo later and publicly post it as "Good Times" ? Why? And another hole in this story is that Jessicka, in her statement, was describing the alleged abuse as something people knew about and just weren't willing to discuss it. Missi was around in those times. Why is she smiling in the photo with Jeordie's brothers?

What about this?

It's also pretty contradictory to her "nightmares of running into him" storyline, that in her private Facebook group Sparkle in Darkness, she admitted that around the JOJ reunion, she was going through Jeordie's then wife Laney Chantal's social media "looking for signs of abuse" - what? This is discussed on the Jessicka's emails page further.

She does also like to keep a close watch on Jeordie's current girlfriend Michelle Siwy's social media, as can be noticed on the page about the fabricated stalker story here, and on the abusive Jessicka page here. What kind of nightmares is she dealing with that she needs to seek out this stuff all the time?

Also, again, her story in the 2017 statement goes only up to like fall 1994, and then i's "I saw Jeordie throughout the 90's" like she didn't want to see him at all, the alleged rape would have taken place somewhere in fall 1994. Which is interesting considering that Jeordie didn't shave his eyebrows yet in 1994, he still had them in the Headbanger's Ball clip from 1994 (that is like, on the POAAF tour which is AFTER the alleged rape during a NIN tour)

So this picture is 1995... And it was one of those GUY FRIENDS photos too.

Also:

hmmmmm

So not only does it look like she had no problem hanging out with this alleged "rapist", there doesn't seem to be much bad memories linked to these pics if she can post them online in a GUY FRIENDS folder.

Then, this interview, November 1997:

Jeff: I've heard rumors that you and Twiggy had been together for some time, is that a sensitive topic or ..?
Jessicka: No not at all, we dated for about 4 years and we used to live together, It's just he went on with his career and I went on with mine. We don't really look each other in the face. Last time I saw him was in NY at the MTV awards and we said about 3 words to each other. I have a better relationship with everyone else in the band than I do with him, it's uncomfortable still. I went out with someone named Jeordie White and then the last two years of our relationship Twiggy evolved, it was like dating a schizophrenic, so, I've always been Jessika. Then he started wearing my clothes! “hey where are my..huh? hey you asshole!” It got to that point, and he still owes me some clothes.

The clothes issue is discussed on the Overnight? page, shortly, no he did not wear her clothes as it's explained in much detail in the Identity Theft Section, the dresses came along after Jessicka had moved out of their shared apartment, why would Jeordie have access to them?

She doesn't seem exactly traumatized, rather, making a joke about Jeordie? (the whole schizophrenic comment also addressed on the Overnight? page) Otherwise seems to be just normal awkwardness after a breakup? She says she saw him at the MTV awards in New York, she probably means the VMAS on September 4th, 1997. Jack Off Jill was not even nominated, this was probably not a "I saw him I just had to..." situation, rather her going to the gala to watch it?

This statement has a very different tone than what she said 20 years later. This is the same year as her "planning to come out with her story." Of course, it could be her lying that everything's fine, celebrities lie all the time. But it's a statement nonetheless. She did not have any issue talking about Jeordie in interviews in 1997. There are more than this and it's always "Yeah we used to date, he wore my clothes lol!" and it was always Jack Off Jill pushing this "trivia" about the relationship and sharing photos of them, Jeordie has never mentioned Jessicka anywhere in any way.

And the whole "we dated for about four years" is probably not true either.

And one more thing I gotta mention is this:

Jessicka interviewed for a fansite on Saturday, March 14th, 1998:

c: what are your favorite movies, or movies that influence jack off jill?

j: i'm a really big fan of david lynch films, i'm a really big fan of the wizard of oz, that's a really big influence for me. i am a really big fan of horror movies: dead alive, exorcist, a lot of the older seventies horror movies. let's see, i'm trying to think of just some good ones. rosemary's baby... just for the fact that i think they were scarier than a lot of the horror movies, that exploit gore rather than exploit suspense. those are really big influences to me. it's funny enough, a lot of seventies films. saturday night fever...

c: oh really?

j: yeah, i'm a really big fan of that.

c: wow.

j: yeah, i know that's strange... of course star wars, anything with the beegees in it, i'm also a fan of sgt. pepper, you know, a lot of those films. recently something that i've been watching a lot has been tommy, and anything clive barker.

Now, I DO realize that this is a very small thing and might sound nitpicky, but I'll mention this anyway just because it's interesting and I want to gather all the information on this site.

Just it struck me as odd that she goes on to add "Of course Star Wars, anything with Bee Gees in it, I'm also a fan of Sgt. Pepper" those are all listed in a row like that. And they just happen to be the most basic "get to know Jeordie White" things, everyone who knows anything about him knows he is a huge fan of all those three. And this happens in an interview in March 1998 when Jessicka has, according to her own words, just recently broken up with Jeordie, who she later claims she was avoiding and having nightmares of. Interesting.

Jeordie has always been a huge fan of Star Wars, in the Hour Of Goon podcast it's often discussed in multiple episodes how he goes to see the films in theaters like 10 times when they come out, you can see on his social media that he's very much into collecting merchandise and action figures. He's got Star Wars tattoos and Star Wars was also partly included in the aesthetics of Amboog A Lard, the band he played in before Manson, as the members of the band were all fans. They even named their album "A New Hope". In early Manson pictures Jeordie can be seen with a Star Wars lunchbox.

He also had a Bee Gees lunchbox. He's been a huge fan of the Bee Gees since he was a child and even had somewhat of a contact to the band through his mother and aunt who where also fans. He also stated in Hour Of Goon that the Twiggy Ramirez "character" was partly inspired by stories he'd heard about Robin Gibb.

Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club is a 70's movie that includes the Bee Gees. this also, a huge influence to Jeordie, he's made references to this film in his career.

So, okay, definitely possible to like the same things, she mentions David Lynch too, Jeordie had just appeared in Lost Highway around this time. But I don't see that as "interesting" because after Twin Peaks, who wasn't a Lynch fan in the 90's? One movie you could avoid watching but still keep loving Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet and all that, whatever.

But Bee Gees, Star Wars, Sgt Pepper, that's a very Jeordie "starter pack" combination. You know, everyone's got those things that they just live and breathe, they become things that everyone associated with them forever, it's almost the same as hearing their name. So I don't know, unless Jessicka was a huge fan of these things before meeting Jeordie, I'd see it as a bit weird thing that she supposedly isn't reminded of Jeordie by these things.

Then again to give her the benefit of the doubt; Jessicka and Jeordie were both born in the 70's and grew up with the same things. They are literally the same age as my parents and Bee Gees is one of those things that everyone's mom likes Bee Gees isn't really a thing that has a "cult following" but then again a lot of people just casually like the same things, it's a different thing to be a FAN.

Music especially is very good at capturing memories into the sounds, it absolutely can take you to memories very vividly, whether they're good or bad

Just really interesting, could imagine Bee Gees songs could bring back some Jeordie memories or watching Star Wars could make her think of how he's probably talk over the movie about some fan trivia or something. But these things are different for everyone, couldn't say this is any very concluding evidence or anything but just an interesting thing.

Also considering that Jessicka said on her (wayback archived 2000's) website that she couldn't listen to Live Through This by Hole for a long time because of Courtney's relationship with Jeordie hurting her feelings so much. So okay.

I don't know, what do you think about this?

Another thing I feel like mentioning here is an email that I got. I can't confirm this information but this person has been a reliable source of information in general, and they mentioned this post on a Marilyn Manson messageboard in the early 2000's that I'd like to hear more about. So if you remember this kind of a post or even happen to be the person who wrote it, you can contact me.

So the person that emailed me said they remember seeing a post on the official Marilyn Manson messageboard like this: The writer of the post had had a conversation with Jessicka after Jessicka had attended Marilyn Manson's birthday party in 2002. And during this conversation, Jessicka had just basically been shittalking Jeordie, about how he'd showed up late to the party and hadn't talked to anyone and left early. Jessicka had also trashed Jeordie's then girlfriend, also named Jessica, saying she's "a stuck up bitch".

No way to verify this post existing as wayback marchine doesn't archive forums that need a login, so most old conversations are lost forever if they're behind a login. Couldn't find this, though I tried.

But if this happened, very interesting. As if Jessicka had been avoiding interaction to Jeordie, why would she be at Manson's birthday party where Jeordie would definitely be as he was very close friends with Manson at the time? Also, it's quite telling again if she has a problem with Jeordie having a new girlfriend, why would she care? And another thing is; wouldn't it be a good thing if she wanted to avoid Jeordie, if he was at the party only for a little bit and didn't talk to anyone, wouldn't that be a relief to her rather than something to be angry about? Why would she even pay attention to him?