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Jessicka went personal

(simplified for an easier reading experience and updated in January 2023, originally posted in March/April 2022)

Upon finding my social media accounts as well as this website, Jessicka first had her husband confront me. (Which you can read about in the previous page of this section) But when it didn't result in me deleting my posts (which I have a full right to publish considering this is commentary on a public issue) she then went out of her way to fabricate a story about me stalking her. Let's go through the claims and you'll see after reading this that all of this is completely ridiculous.

So, her claims are:

That I have been harassing, stalking, threatening and attempting to extort/blackmail her since the beginning of this project.

That I am severely mentally ill, out of touch with reality, writing deranged fantasies, in need of "serious psychiatric help".

That she has gone to the authorities and has had her lawyers as well as american law enforcement monitoring my social media since she discovered it. She also claims to have contacted the Finnish police, the finnish ministry of foreign affairs as well as the Finnish US embassy. 

Let's get started with the claims of extortion and harassment. Yes, I posted that instagram story on March 4th, 2022. 

So the context of the instagram story was this: I was confronted with a flood of tweets by Jessicka's husband in a very manipulative manner. I responded publicly and I then blocked all their accounts as it was made clear to me, that Jessicka wasn't interested in seeing this discussion. I decided that well, since she doesn't want to see my posts and contrary to popular beliefs I actually don't want to do anything else than express my own opinions on this case, so I'll just make it so that she'll only see my posts if she deliberately seeks them out, and she will not stumble upon them otherwise. I don't want to harass anyone. But then I was receiving messages of warnings from people, that what would most likely soon follow would be a lawsuit threat or something else. I saw that "Buy my silence" meme in someone else's instagram story and shared it with a joking commentary without thinking that much about it. 

You can obviously see that the original post is a meme by an instagram user named whoissheihateher. I have seen for example Amber Heard supporters share this exact same meme but that's not extortion when they are doing it?

You can also see in Jessicka's second tweet about this "extortion", that she herself acknowledged and understood that it was meant as a joke. Honestly, right about anyone would understand I was not being serious, but there it is, she stated herself that it is an "extortion joke". From here on, going back to claim it was an example of actual extortion is actually a lie. 

Not only that, but what is actually being said with this meme? "Buy my silence, for 8000 a month, I'll stop." Stop doing what? What am I doing? What have I been doing? I'm publicly expressing my opinions on a public topic. A drama between public figures. Based on information that they have themselves made public. So what's actually being said is: If you want to restrict my freedom of speech, then, you'd have to pay. And I wasn't serious, as was acknowledged. - I simply stated that I am not giving up my rights for free.

May I also mention the pick and choose way she presents another tweet of mine as an example of how I have no evidence and am just nitpicking? She cropped out the addition to the tweet where I said I was joking.

That is also a lie right there, she is intentionally misrepresenting what I do. 

While, well, it's pretty ironic that she has made a burner account to deliberately seek out posts that she was blocked from seeing. She was not the target audience of the "extortion" instagram story to start with, yet she's acting like it was sent to her. Sure, it addresses her by name, but it's a joke directed to people that know about her habit of threatening people with lawsuits and what other kinds of stuff.

I doubt anyone actually extorting someone would do so with a meme. And as it remains the only example of this "extortion" and she clearly understood it was meant as a joke, well it's pretty pathetic. 

Oh but then, in late November 2022 she went on to claim that it was an actual example of extortion. As I said, after stating she understood it was a joke, it now is a flat out lie to claim it was actual extortion:

In the same bunch of instagram stories, she gave an example of the harassment she had experienced. Yeah, me sharing someone else's instagram post in my story, and this posts simply states that this person whose post I shared doesn't stand with Illma,, Evan nor Jessicka. So in November 2022 she is claiming that I have harassed and threatened her for a year and these are the examples.

More examples of my "harassment" towards her: A comment someone else left under one of my posts. And a DM someone sent her at some point, and to be clear I have no idea who that is, in the full screenshot of the dm the username is visible and I have never talked to that person. Like, wow I really must be harassing her a lot if she has to use OTHER PEOPLE'S words as examples of something she claims I have done. How manipulative is it anyway to post someone else's dm next to a photo of me? This is clearly falsely implying that I wrote that message when I did not. And what, okay, well I don't exactly agree with the tone of these messages but hear me out: If someone believes Jessicka to be a false accuser, there is a completely justified anger there and people may say mean things. I don't think anyone should be talked about in a derogatory way, but it unfortunately happens. I can't control other people or their reactions though. By her logic she should be held responsible if one of her supporters sends me something rude. 

Well she says "continue your case research" I will. 

What about the death threats? Well:

Jessicka in March 2022 says: "This person posted a death threat but I don't have a screenshot of it." Well, the lack of a screenshot just might be because I have never sent a death threat to anyone.

And you could see the above mentioned worst example of harassment that she posted in November 2022, no death threats have happened at any point. I'll discuss later on this page her claim about having authorities after me, but she did also claim that she has had lawyers and police officers monitoring my accounts daily for threats for about a year as I'm writing this in January 2023... No screenshots of death threats.

See, her way of doing things seems to always be that she is overconfident in her tantrums working, and she probably trusted that I'd just delete my profiles and she could carry on claiming all this stuff, but as time passes these claims keep becoming dumber. 

What about the stalking? Well:

You could see one example as I discussed her claims of extortion. Apparently taking screenshots of publicly available tweets is stalking. That is it, she claims I have been stalking her and her proof is that I have screenshots of her public tweets. 

She makes a point to say that it's also stalking that I can see her posts when she has blocked me, but well the irony is that I blocked her before she blocked me. By her own logic she is stalking me too. 

Another example she has here is a tweet I retweeted. Once again, I did not say it seriously, the original tweet was a joke made by someone else and I retweeted it. It's FAR from being the same thing as me tweeting that as a serious statement. The tweet said "Go ahead block me I have 300 twitter accounts." Why did I retweet it? Well, Jessicka and her burner accounts. Without which she wouldn't see my instagram stories that she is using here as proof that I'm stalking her. The other screenshots included here, the texts on the black background were my initial response to her claims of being stalked, I basically said that discussing and screenshotting public tweets is not stalking and I don't intend to harass or threaten her, I just don't believe her claims.

Also, lol, she of course did not include that one from those instagram stories I initially responded with, where I asked people NOT to harass her even if she's lying about me... So I'll include it here! Hardly "targeted harassment" if I say we should not harass someone...

Then she claims that I have found out where she lives and she's so afraid that she's had to install a security camera system:

Okay? What on earth would I do with that information? My whole entire social media presence regarding this subject is simply to share my view on why I think Jeordie is innocent. There is no need for Jessicka's home address in that! (Other commenter in the first screenshot was referring to Denise, the admin of Jeordie's website Base Tendencies, as Jessicka was also making false claims about her harassing her)

Another example of me "stalking" her was that I was using the full name of the alleged witness in her story about Jeordie. The name is public information, Pete has a band of his own and Jessicka's husband has himself encouraged people to google his full name, lol. The witness related issues are discussed on the page about him. 

But in the second screenshot you can see that she literally makes this stuff up on the spot. As soon as a commenter mentions home intrusion, Jessicka mentions the security camera installation. It was only mentioned here. Had she actually done so, one might imagine it'd been mentioned right when she started this "stalker" storyline as she was mentioning the actions she had taken to ensure her own safety. ?

So we get to this law enforcement part of her claims.

This tweet was from March 14th, and she was sharing screenshots from March 4th as examples of my "stalking" like the "extortion thing". 

So... She's gone to her lawyers and to the US authorities and her lawyers are monitoring my accounts for threats daily. It at the time of this tweet, had been then at least ten days since she'd gone to the authorities and gotten herself a lawyer. 

... So why is she asking legal advice from twitter if she's been working with lawyers and law enforcement to work this issue out for ten days already?

Also, see the blackmailing tone she has when talking about me? She's implying she has people finding out my information and she's going to post it publicly? 

Also here: "From what I have gathered in the last 24 hours, Finland doesn't take kindly to harassment of any kind".  Why 24 hours? Why is she asking twitter and why is she gathering this information herself, wouldn't her lawyer be doing that? Oh well, because she has no lawyer. It has at this point been months and absolutely nothing has actually happened. I have not been contacted by the authorities regarding anything like this. 

So she's playing this theatric performance but this could clearly be read as blackmail towards me, that if I don't stop publishing my opinions on this subject, she will doxx me? And she's the one  complaining about extortion? She is blackmailing me? More blackmailing could be an actual threat I received from a "close friend" of hers, that I think is very likely just her on a fake account, where this person said to me basically that I will be bullied into submission if I don't stop. That's on the "I'm not Jessicka" page.

But the anonymity part was also kind of... Well, I was keeping my identity out of this but I was still posting selfies in the stories on instagram. It wasn't anything else than really just the fact that I don't see how my identity in this is relevant in any way. But well, she doesn't seem to know how to argue with anything more than personal attacks. Not that I was even asking for her contribution anyway lol. 

The "anonymity" claims didn't really age well though as I have literally done an interview with my face visible after this "anonymous stalker" thing started. 

So that was the authorities claim in March 2022. 

After that, I myself went to the authorities. As this stalker story was being posted on twitter by Jessicka, I called for legal counseling myself and was advised to report this to the Finnish authorities as defamation, which I did. They would take it from there and see how it could be handled. Issue was that while according to the Finnish system, I could have probably sued her for defamation, the person I called was thinking about it from the perspective of the Finnish law and what happens if a Finnish person is the target of a crime. I then later on learned from the authorities that this report wasn't serious enough for international assistance, which then lead to a decision not to open an investigation at all.  Here is a screenshot from the police website, as well as an email from the person handling my report:

So I was adding more information to the report I had made and asking some additional questions, and this email was a reply from a police officer: "Hello. Regarding your message below. It seems that this crime has been committed from abroad, and handling this would require international assistance. The US authorities however, they don't assist in things such as this one, and the Finnish authorities cannot just demand these social media platforms to delete the messages.  We will be making a decision not to open an investigation in Finland. If you want, you can report this to the USA and also you can contact the social media platforms and request them to remove the offensive messages." 

(In Finland, defamation is a crime reported to the police whereas in the USA I understand this is a lot  different) 

So, I reported her the next day after she started spreading bullshit about me. About two weeks later I have a conclusion and an explanation why nothing came of it. An explanation that is completely understandable and makes sense.

Jessicka however...

She started this whole ordeal by saying she's been in contact with the lawyers and authorities. Nothing has come of it. I have not heard of anything at all regarding myself. Surely, if a criminal report about me had been made, maybe I would be informed of it?

Oh, you might be asking why Jessicka then has not been contacted about this report I made of her then? Good question! The answer is, that the "international assistance" they would need would be exactly the part about informing her about the report and getting her to respond to these claims on record. Also, due to the circumstances, they decided not to open an investigation at all. 

Where did it go on Jessicka's part on the criminal reports then? Well, still, in November 2022 she kept going at this, now stating that she had gone to the Finnish police too. (at this point recently or already in the springtime? I don't know.)

Again, the extortion.... Sigh. Jessicka herself acknowledged that it was a joke. End of. I'll come back to the mental illness points later. 

But the screenshot included in the tweet is of an instagram story I posted on November 17th so this tweet was a few days after. Jessicka's husband says he has contacted the Finnish police, but is tweeting this at the ministry of foreign affairs as well as the embassy. Why?

If a police report to the Finnish police has been made, the cops have access to my personal information and they can call me anytime or come visit me if they see a reason to. There is no need to contact the ministry of foreign affairs nor the embassy. 

Why would they contact the embassy? For legal advice? Weren't they working with their team of lawyers as well as the american authorities for months now? Had they told the truth back in March, there would not be any need to contact the embassy anymore at this point?

December 29th. "We filed a police report in Finland and I've yet to get any confirmation of conclusive action."

Okay. No confirmation? Confirmation of what, the report being made or what? Um, you can get a copy of your report into your email, and anyhow, a copy is sent to you if you make a report. You can literally access the criminal report you've made and see it's status right after you've sent it in. "No confirmation".... You should have had you actually reported something. 

Also. Still unclear to me when this report of a crime had been made, but according to these tweets, as I'm editing this page on January 1st, 2023, it has been at least seven weeks. It does not take this long before you're contacted about whether or not an investigation starts. Especially as, I would imagine that had she been "fearing for her life" truly in March already, the finnish authorities would have been contacted then already?

I called the police myself to inquire about this alleged criminal report made about me, and what they said was "Well... I can't give you information about specific cases on the phone like this, but if you haven't been contacted regarding this issue at this point, most likely no one has reported you. You would have heard about it already."

See, the international assistance issue would not apply here had Jessicka made a report about me, because she would be the person providing the Finnish cops the information they need, and the cops have access to my contact information and could call me in for a visit or come arrest me any time if they needed. Jessicka would be providing the international assistance basically. The focus would be on a local person, not on someone who they can't reach without assistance. Also, her claims are more serious than mine.

All her evidence would be in the form of screenshots as public posts visible to everyone interested is the only way I have ever addressed her. A decision about whether or not an investigation would be started would have already been made and if one had been started, most likely I would have heard about it already. 

She has not reported me. There is nothing to report. 

Also... "Fearing for her safety" as said in the tweets earlier... She said she was fearing for her life enough to add to her home security... Let's talk about that. 

How likely is it that I could even get to the states? I can't afford that. I have no reason to go to California. It would take me years to gather enough money anyway. Seriously that shit is expensive. At the time where she was saying this stuff about fearing for her life, I was talking about being a student on the very accounts she was "monitoring". So, while aware that I'm a broke student, she thought it would be reasonable to assume that I have any chances of gathering that big amounts of money....

And after I made my initial response on the site, the tone changed pretty fast. 

#Iamnotscaredofyou"? NOt to mention how ironic this is after all she has said about me. Also, yet again, deliberately going through comment sections she has been blocked from seeing, to pick and choose comments to take out of context. The comment was made by one of my followers, who said "It would be better for everyone, including Jessicka, if she left the internet." This I took to mean that her behavior causes second hand embarrassment. Anyhow, here she is, yet again implying I had made this comment? 

But how did she get over the stalking so fast? 

It would be a very traumatizing experience that leaves you feeling paranoid and unsafe for years after. I have a friend who was stalked by an ex partner for years. By what I have heard from that, by what I saw and heard as the situation was ongoing: Jessicka is looking for attention. You don't just ”get over” being stalked like that. That friend of mine said this while we discussed Jessicka's claims about me; "As someone that has actually been stalked by someone that knew where I lived and how to easily get there, I could never imagine posting about it on social media because it might just make the stalker angry and it'd just make the situation worse, I did not want to confront that person and I had no idea what they would do."

But she was "fearing for her life" and then "not scared of you" a few weeks later. 

Here, April 2022, she did her pick and choosing to trash Jeordie's girlfriend Michelle, and in this screenshot she is "not afraid", after I made a post on instagram commenting on this.

Basically Jessicka who's "scared" of Jeordie and avoiding this topic at all costs still went to look for an at the time six months old tweet of Michelle's to take out of context and talk shit about. 

The tweet was "sent to her" coincidentally right after I had mentioned an instance of Jessicka's husband making rude tweets at Michelle a few years ago. Lol, it really looked like someone saw that story and then wanted to make Michelle look bad, so she searched for that tweet.

Anyway, not scared anymore a month after installing security cameras out of fearing for her life. Good thing, the point wasn't to scare her at any point anyway and this whole stalker ordeal was completely made up by Jessicka. 

What about the mental illness? How mentally ill am I?

Just, first of all. All of these claims about what I'm doing and what I'm apparently like... They would be obvious from what I'm doing to anyone observing. If I genuinely wished harm towards her and was threatening her in my instagram stories, why have I not made any actual posts with any malicious intent visible? She is implying that I have a "creepy hyperfixation" with her and hurting her, yet anybody can go through my profiles and see for themselves that it's ridiculous. 

Anyway, in her March 2022 tweets that we went through, she mentions "creepy hyperfixation" and "being neurodivergent." Well, the neurodivergent part is actually true! I have ADHD and with that a tendency to hyperfocus on something is kind of given. Many people with ADHD have a hyperfixation with something. I just find it very ableist to portray it as something inherently scary. Hyperfixation does not equal "creepy stalker obsession". The hyperfixations that come with ADHD/autistic symptoms are not the same thing as creepily obsessing over something, it's more so just that you are super fascinated with something and want to find out everything there is to find out about a specific subject. This does not necessarily involve imagining additional details to it and in fact, ADHD/autistic people often are very truth oriented in their researches as they have a very good memory but also are able to see things as patterns. 

Yes, I could say that the subject of this case has been somewhat of a hyperfixation, but that does not mean I'm obsessed with any of the people involved. And if you've read my posts, if I am hyperfixating on either of these people, it's Jeordie I'm interested in. I think he is a very interesting person but this does not involve seeking his attention, more so I have been interested in reading about his artistic influences and I'm interested in his story as a person, where did he come from and what made him who he is, what inspired him to create the things he's created. There is nothing wrong with that and it's ableist to twist this into something creepy. 

But if you are concerned about this part, well: 

In my trans treatments, the trans clinic professionals decided to delay my surgical operation due to concerns about my emotional wellbeing among other issues such as me smoking way too much and being overweight. They noticed that I was dealing with a lot of emotional baggage, and they sent me to further testing in late 2020 to find out if I have a personality disorder. I went through the testing and the psychiatrist concluded that more so, it seems I do not have a personality disorder but I fit the description of someone who's either autistic or has ADHD. The emotional problems would have to be resolved with help discussing it as well as giving me time to rest at home as I was pretty burned out with the stress of dealing with the trans situation, 

During 2021, when I was planning and researching for this website, I as well as my family were interviewed by professionals and I was tested for ADHD and autism. This resulted in an ADHD diagnosis in fall 2021. As it was a late diagnosis and I was dealing with depression that was partially a result of the problems this condition had always caused me, the treatment period at the neuropsychiatric was such that my mental wellbeing was being followed for about a year. To see how I'm handling the ADHD symptoms, how much does it affect my life and do the medications work well for me. So this ADHD diagnosis and treatment planning, evaluating the situation, this all happened around summer 2021 to August 2022. This meant that while I was taking time to rest at home and make sure my diet is healthy etc, I had appointments to discuss my situation with professionals, including for example a nurse coming to see me at home to do basic household chores like laundry with me and talk about my interests and latest activities.

So to put it shortly, in the time she's claiming I have a creepy hyperfixation on her and I'm allegedly putting all my time and energy into getting to the US to somehow hurt her.... A this very time I was being observed by psychiatric professionals who are there to see FOR EXAMPLE if a hyperfixation is being too time consuming? And they weren't concerned about this? There is no mention of a concern about this at all in my patient records. And well, don't you think someone might have intervened if that was the case, that I was behaving in a dangerous manner?

Then. Jessicka also included that photo of me wearing a 90's Twiggy dress in one of her tweets:

This photo is from a post I made in early February 2022. The post on instagram was made the day I got home from the hospital after my mastectomy surgery. (This is when a female to male transgender person's chest is surgically made to appear male by removing the breasts.) If you look closely, the hand that's holding the phone still has the hospital's paper bracelet.

The point of my photo post was to celebrate the fact that I had finally gotten to have the surgery, and I wanted to post a photo with the dress on, as Jeordie had always been someone I found support in during my trans situation. Also the dress is the first outfit I ever made myself, as Jeordie was one of the biggest inspirations that sparked my interest in fashion, and it was kind of a "things coming full circle" moment at that point, that he'd helped me so much in finding and accepting myself and one battle was over, but also another was soon to be, as I was on the way to graduate from fashion school and this site project had helped me find inspiration to pull through with that too. So there, soon to be a fashion pro is wearing the very dress that got him on that track. 

And also, because I had always wanted to cosplay Twiggy looks, but my body dysphoria had always made it an uncomfortable experience. It felt incredibly good to put that dress on! So I'm celebrating my fuckin body but Jessicka makes it a point about how "creepy" I am. Nice. 

"Monitoring lawyers" also overlooked how I mentioned that I had passed school classes with this research. So I showed my social media profiles as well as this full website to teachers who then graded it as basically completing a course on free time. There was no mention of any kind of concerns about this "going too far" or whatever.

But the thing about the trans situation and her claims about my serious mental illness that she doesn't realize is this: The regulations about trans treatments and diagnosis are pretty strict in Finland. 

In order to be diagnosed as transgender, you have to go through psychiatric evaluation. They will not set the diagnosis if you're severely mentally ill in a way that affects your perception of reality. The psychiatric evaluation takes from a year to two or more, and during that the professionals make sure that you're in full understanding of what's going on and who you are, and also that you're emotionally and physically healthy enough to handle the trans situation. Reasons to not get a transgender diagnosis are for example: struggling with addiction, severe depression, being unable to tell if the experience of dysphoria is a result of unresolved childhood trauma or not, being suicidal. 

So I was cleared with this and they set me the diagnosis, which means that I am in full understanding. 

Then, in order to get any surgical operations done, you'll also have to be basically diagnosed as completely sane and healthy. In August 2021 I was put into the surgery queue on the condition that I'm able to quit smoking for several months to make sure that my skin is in good condition and my blood circulation works well enough for recovery. 

In order to get a mastectomy surgery done, you can't be a smoker or a drinker, you can't be overweight, this all affects the healing. But also, you can't be severely depressed nor can you be psychotic because you have to 100% understand what you're doing, you have to be ready to handle the fact that there is a body part removed that affects how you're seen by other people, and you have to be in good mental  health also because a seriously depressed/suicidal person would likely be either too careless with the wounds and risk them opening or too tired and unmotivated to properly clean them and change wrappings, which would risk infection. 

So during 2021-2022 I've been observed by both the neuropsychiatric people in regards to the ADHD situation, as well as the trans clinic people in regards to is my mental/physical health good enough to handle the surgery situation. You know, someone would have noticed if I'm as creepy and dangerous as Jessicka claims. 

But yeah, so here's her once again posting a photo of me in order to portray me as a creepy Jeordie fan, when the purpose of the photo is once again me celebrating the fact that my body is the way I want it by making a lighthearted joke about removed tits on the anniversary of Mechanical Animals:

What's the vomit emoji for? My body? LGBT advocate Jessicka posts vomiting emojis on trans people's bodies! This is the first time I ever posted a shirtless photo anywhere. Nice. The whole point of the photo is the surgery scars, and playing around with the idea that the breasts have been removed and the cakes I'm holding look like breasts. The vomit emoji in reaction looks pretty uhh...? 

She clearly doesn't get the point anyway, I have pretty much just pointed out that a public figure using all of their celeb platforms to go after a private citizen to silence them with completely made up "stalker" stories is not responsible behavior. It doesn't mean that I'm above constructive  criticism. 

And well, missing one important point with the tattoo too. It's not just a Jeordie reference, it has a much bigger personal meaning to me and Jeordie's tattoo simply inspired me to get one because I thought his tattoo symbolized an important realization/attitude in my life. And I can talk about that later. I have talked about it publicly earlier, but a proper post would indeed be interesting. Anyway "same tattoos as her rapist" does not mean much if you consider the fact that I believe he's innocent. 

Well idk you can keep vomiting in reaction to my trans body but the scars on my chest prove that I have gone through psychiatric evaluation to get the surgery done and I was marked sane and in good health.  

I repeat: If I was insane they would not have operated on me in spring 2022! 

So professionals from two hospitals are lying? For what?

Well, then. On November 17th 2022, I posted an instagram story in which I mentioned getting a call from a psychiatric clinic. (This does not mean a psychiatric ward, but a place where therapy appointments are held.) The whole joke about this was that Jessicka is portraying me as creepily mentally ill in her posts, and I receive a phonecall from a psychiatric clinic right as I'm writing a speculative email to someone. (Why I found this funny was because of a specific meme where an unpopular opinion, a "too long to read" unhinged rant or the like in an online discussion is responded to with a picture of a nurse holding open a psych ward door. This moment associated in my head with that meme and I was very tired so I found it hilarious.) I was discussing the Manson/Wood/Gore filings with someone and had completely forgotten a scheduled call. Jessicka/Christian of course then went to use this to push the idea that I'm dangerous, you can see there is an attached black screenshot in the tweet, it's that instagram story I posted. :

Then here we see it progress into exaggerations: "Admittedly mentally ill" becomes "Admittedly in need of some serious mental help!" - I did not say that. I only said that I was on the phone with someone from a psychiatric clinic. She made up the rest. 

This next story was part of a public series of stories and tweets clearly made in a very emotional state after Jessicka's mother passed away around November 19th. Instead of taking time to grieve, they went on to attack me on social media.

Wow terrifying I cosplayed 90's Twiggy for Halloween and this is once again proof that I'm dangerous. Once again try to understand that as I believe Jeordie is innocent, when I cosplay his looks, I don't think I'm dressing up as anybody's rapist. The sickness of the situation is entirely in the eye of the observer. It's not about Jessicka when I show my appreciation to Jeordie.

Still sticking to the extortion. She acknowledged that it's a joke in March, pushing this claim still in November is knowingly posting falsehoods. 

Why is Manson and Lindsay tagged? Why is Jessicka asking another alleged abuser to do something about me? Why should I take commands from Manson? Yeah. Remember when she published false claims about Manson and took them back when he'd fired Jeordie? 

But see I did not say I needed serious mental help. They just think the word "psychiatry" is scary and that is once again pretty fucking stupid considering the amount of mental health awareness Jessicka keeps posting. 

I do have a transcription of the phonecall as well as all the records of every appointment I've had so I can back this all up if this bullshit continues. The phonecall was about this: The people handling the ADHD situation with me were thinking that as the ADHD diagnosis/treatment sorta period was ending in August/September 2022, I would probably benefit from a series of discussion appointments with a therapist. Growing up with ADHD that's diagnosed as an adult is a situation that you run into a lot of obstacles in life that make you feel like you're not enough, which can result in self esteem issues. This combined with the trans situation's emotional strain, as well as, I have so many options what to do next in life that I can't decide lol. I need someone to help me discuss that for a bit. That's what the call was about, it was a new worker who had read my records calling to introduce and have a quick rundown of my situation so that she could plan a new appointment for later. Hardly anything creepy about that. 

Right now what's going on is that I did have a burnout in early 2021, after which I stayed home for months. Then, returning to school was very draining and though I managed to graduate in 2022, I have been advised to take things slowly when taking the steps to enter the working life in the future as not to overwhelm myself. This is why right now I'm not working yet at this point. 

In that call we did make another call appointment to have a longer conversation and to then make an appointment to meet IRL at the clinic. This call was interrupted by a call from a priest, and I briefly considered making an instagram story about that, just to see if a priest calling me would be twisted into "This person is admittedly in need of some serious exorcism!!" I didn't, but well, it probably would have. 

Anyway, the priest called me because I had refused to complete the confirmation school when I was 15, and I had recently "officialized" my Christianity by rejoining the evangelical-lutheran church. So the priest just basically was saying that if I want "full membership" I have to go through the confirmation school but I won't be made to attend a summer camp like teenagers, I can just kinda fast forward it.

Here's her also making some conclusions, this was in context to my comments about a vague tweet Jessicka posted that I understood to be about Laney's death but Jessicka claims it was about her mother being in hospice care. So me possibly misunderstanding her tweet is "creating dark fantasies" aka lying on purpose... No, whatever the truth regarding that tweet may be, I did not lie, I simply shared that that's what it looks like .That's not lying, that's an opinion. Why is the truth still coming out if it's already out, that I don't understand. Didn't she share her truth already years ago? If that is the truth then it's already out.

It's just strange to keep saying "truth will come out" and "justice takes time" after Jessicka made her statement already in 2017, resulting in Jeordie being cancelled. There has barely been any news about him since, besides very minor appearances that haven't gotten much attention. It's not like there was no reaction whatsoever to her claims, and originally when Jeordie got fired/left Manson in 2017, she seemed satisfied with that result. 

Once again, cosplaying as Jeordie, if one believes him to be innocent, is just cosplaying as a bandmember and nothing else. I think Jeordie is innocent, therefore me cosplaying him has nothing to do with abusers. In my mind. I do not dress up as an abuser, I do not dress up as Jeordie to glorify abuse. Abuse does not pass my mind when I dress up as him. 

Not to mention that it's kind of relevant that I'm a professional dressmaker and I'm replicating Jeordie's looks from scratch as a hobby, making a collection of sorts, I do the research, look through photos and compare them, do the math to draw patterns. Go out and shop through multiple shops to find the exact right materials. This takes a lot of time. I thought I was hyperfixated with her? Wasn't that the claim? But I'm zooming into Jeordie photos to figure out what kind of a material his dress is and how I would custom that outfit for my own body type. 

Anyway. History with mental health struggles? Guess what, she has that too! And if having history with mental health struggles makes someone crazy and scary, well, by that logic everything she says and does would also be crazy and irrelevant? No? Pretty much everyone involved with the Jeordie and Manson allegations is mentally ill somehow, admittedly. 

And lastly, still, from this mental illness perspective. 

As a teenager I was unhealthy obsessed with bands. It was more so that my life was too stressful because of multiple issues, one of the biggest being gender dysphoria and not being understood. So I kind of had to hide myself from others and deal with that all alone. It was incredibly hard. So I spent a lot of time on bands. It was an escape from that pain, and those bands provided me with friendships and something to expect in the future. The community around bands was a similar thing that maybe a religious community is to some. I felt like I had no one and those bands filled that void. IN that time I was riddled with anxiety, suicidal thoughts, depression. 

Had someone in those bands then gone out to target me like this, lie about me like this and intentionally misrepresent me like this, it would have been absolutely horrible and I would have probably hurt myself. 

Well, but in that time I learned that every band eventually breaks up, favorite guys get fired from bands, bandmembers die. It was a cycle of "Oh no this band broke up, what do I do now?!!" and then I was asking myself, what is it that I needed from them, why wasn't my own life good enough, why did I feel like I'm being ripped apart when people I have never met have drama with each other?

 

And I learned that I can't build myself and my life and identity around something I can't reach, someone I can't know, something I can't control or something that after all, is temporary. If all you are is the "biggest fan of ___" you'll lose yourself when that thing is no more. Your ability to function cannot be dependent on someone else's life choices. That lead me into finding Christianity eventually. There is no one whose acceptance or attention I should need or seek other than God. Understanding what "Idolatry" basically means was a huge thing and it released me from a bunch of unnecessary suffering. This has taken me to a place in my life where I'm healthier and happier than ever and my interests and goals have changed entirely. I wouldn't be doing this whole site project if I was still that people pleaser who's desperately trying to find their own crowd. There is no such thing as my crowd. There's me and there's other people, then there's God. I found god some years ago but Christianity came along later, I wasn't sure what depiction of God was what felt right for me. 

But this thing I just said includes Jeordie. I can't build my sense of self around him, guilty or innocent I can't make him anything he isn't. But simply I believe I would be taking him for granted if I didn't take my time to figure out what to think about this all. But this site, for me personally, is an act of rejecting fear of judgment, I will never place my self esteem in the hands of other sinners again. My intentions aren't defined by other people's reactions. 

Anyhow, so, that unhealthily obsessing over bands as a teenager. It was something that at that time saved me from destroying myself and I'm happy those bands were there and I'm so grateful for them. I was just spending too much time basically living along to their lives instead of mine as mine was too much to handle. I don't need them anymore. But I 100% understand being emotionally attached to something like that. It just can't be a lifetime thing. It won't help in the long run. 

But my point is that a mentally ill person is still a person, and even if I actually was psychotic and doing all this kind of shit she's claiming, it wouldn't be responsible or right to take to social media to "expose" a mentally ill person like she's trying to appear she's doing. That's revenge not actually resolving the issue, and it could have terrible consequences as someone in such a fragile state could, if targeted by angry fans, react by hurting themselves.

And no I'm not saying that a celebrity that's being harassed should have sympathy for someone doing the harassing, but it's an unequal power dynamic to have a much bigger following and then use it to "get back at" someone who's not 100% there. For someone constantly talking about "abuse of power" it's pretty ironic that she is a cis woman, a public figure, using her following and  several platforms to slander a trans person who's not a public figure.

 

If there was actually unhinged behavior; just block and report and if needed, go to the authorities. On social media people think things exist only if they're posted on social media, they forget to look at posts with the question of what is the purpose of this being on social media. Nobody actually "fearing for their life" because of a stalker who "knows where they live" would risk provoking said stalker further by posting about that on social media. 

 

If you think I'm addressing this all just to defend myself, no, - really this is just yet again an example of what a liar she is. 

But well this stalker situation was just a performance for attention anyway. How do I know? I was there. And now I have personally been lied about by Jessicka, so I reserve the full right to call her a liar and a false accuser. I know from personal experience now that she's a liar. End of. 

I will continue to joke about my mental illness, there is nothing to be ashamed of. A woman who called herself the "patron saint of self injury" sure has a lot of nerve trying to use someone else's mental illness history against them in her made up stories. 

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Anything said on social media or this site is a fan's ramblings, I don't know Jeordie personally. THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL WEBSITE AND HAS NOT BEEN MADE IN ANY CONTACT TO JEORDIE/TWIGGY.

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